Repousser

It’s not the bad feelings
that keep me away
pain is a regular part of my existence
anyways.
We don’t use anyways here
but it seemed appropriate
at the time
I imagined we would explore
it wasn’t much of an adventure
dammit
it held promise
it’s what I wanted.
Sayonara
Arrivederci
Fare-well.

In the moment
friends can’t always be
lived now
my friendship is
with you forever
lift the veil
perhaps you will see
you don’t want to?
good on you
in the words of Madmati,
“How can I not love you when I have touched the heart of you?”

It seems apparent
you don’t have choice
if it makes
you feel better
I will get to the point:
neither do I
with words I can wound
with words I can heal
I can’t say which
will come next.
Now
I have to write
lest you fade
lest you disappear
into the miasma
for the last time
then
I can’t remember
the moment
you were even there.

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