Banks! Appreciation Society – Life Membership

I am struggling to understand something and I am hoping someone can help.

Warning: This is a rant so it probably isn’t coherent

Today I received a certificate in the mail for Life Membership of The [insert my own name here] Appreciation Society.

The covering letter suggests that I should hang the certificate in my “entry foyer credenza, the fridge or take it straight to the pool room.” and, wait for it… “Also included is your very real, credit card invitation with a limit of [insert ridiculous sum of money for someone who has no reliable source of income]”. In short they want me to apply for a credit card.

Apparently, this is my reward for being with the same bank for 24 years. Thanks. I now wish I had never opened a bank account. You don’t deserve any profits and, let’s face it you probably wouldn’t make any if you didn’t manipulate government policy. You got bailed out during GFC with phenomenal profits that year, I got nothing except for a bout of unemployment.  And now you want me to owe you. I read the letter as, we are so upset that we can’t entice you to take on unsupportable debt after all this time of putting money into our bank, so we are going to hang shit on you instead.

So the very hip, cool and happening marketing department have sent me a certificate announcing that “I LOVE MYSELF” in the hope that it will piss me off enough to rack up mountains of debt.

I do admit that it may not be the fault of the marketing department, it could also be possible that there is a dangerously contagious form of narcissism (otherwise known as “having one’s head up one’s ass”) spreading out of control in Melbourne and the computer caught it.