Broken Logic 101

If all the world were our concern then
all the world would be very concerning.
Tick. It is.

Let’s suppose that you have choices
and that errors only occur within the
framework of time. I’ll pass on that one.

Look what you’ve got there! I’ll start
changing my image so I can have something
like that too. Isn’t this my right?

See what you haven’t got? I am now
wondering how I can fill that gap for you too.
Is this a mistake?

There are so many things about my
life today that I am not enjoying.

There is nothing so effective as self-
flagellation or a dose of righteous
indignation to prolong a bout of pain.

If I could
I would simply
care less,
feel less,
express less,
worry less
love in the possessive less,
sense less,
be less.

This is when I catch wind of the hunt
for things I fear. Finding them floors
me, has me flailing about, struggling
to breathe.

Aimless and masochistic as it sounds,
I have innumerable motivations and
conflicting concepts of self to contend
with.

Lead this horse to water yet
thirst won’t make me drink.

Why can’t I expel the notion that ever
since I arrived I’ve been trying to
return? I can’t say where or to what.

It’s oh so easy to secretly posit
“I don’t know” while never accepting,
for a breath or a heartbeat,
that I don’t know a single thing.

In fact, it’s so unpalatable that the
ensuing technicolour surge of emotion
seems a predictably welcome, almost
comforting act of counter-resistance
replete with expletive-based relief.

Even if not-being is impossible,
it’s easy to feel like I am not being,
that I have wasted so much time
in the knot of being that
life might never be untangled.

I am concerned that I might be a fake,
or that I will discover my fundamental
fake-ness and might never give up fake
ideas about being…

Such as,
I’ve collected a mountain of
burdens to perturb that spontaneous
spring of joy gurgling beneath
the surface of my attention, only to
burst free when I am not looking,
to blast fissures and blowholes through
the very bedrock of familiar beliefs.
Who needs that kind of inconvenience?

What hope have I but to be sad and
angry and rude and sure,
beyond my wildest imaginings,
beyond any and all reason?

I am desperately holding to the belief
that this is a fair price for it all,
so please don’t walk on the grass.

The beauty of the rule of broken logic
is that it is applicable to everything.*

*social commentary not excluded
😉

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9 thoughts on “Broken Logic 101

  1. You have the most creative way of everything you expressed here. Beautiful

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sojourner says:

    In so many ways, Robyn, this is like reading my own psyche, my own thoughts, my own ‘life’, for lack of a better explanation at the moment. Broken logic is right. The perfect title. The perfect description of me!

    Just like with me my self, I don’t seem to be able to put all of this together, so I can make sense of it.

    Your art always has a way of drawing me in and making me reconsider.

    You are so gifted with the art of the written word! I spend hours writing and rewriting, and you can take a few lines to say what would take me a book to communicate.

    Liked by 2 people

    • jamborobyn says:

      In an instant, you have made me so happy with your comment. You see, I wrote down what was floating around in my head, uncritically, with no intention of posting. As I read it back, I noticed how illogical it all was as well as similarities (and differences) to the perspectives of various people commenting on contentious issues on social media lately. They get sooo excited about disagreeing despite the lack of coherent frameworks for analysis. So I added a few other potential perspectives into the mix by recalling the flow of certain online arguments. I was curious to see how similar we all are when we are only talking to ourselves.

      Also, while reading back it occurred to me that making logical sense of all our different thoughts is likely impossible and quite a waste of time. Most people are not practiced at getting their points across in written form and instead deliver a glimpse of their own thought processes as though they somehow make sense to everyone, but every person has a unique style of thinking.

      Universally speaking, thinking really does not seem to be logical in any way. Therefore any attempt to bind our thoughts (and perhaps our communications) to the rules of actual logic will probably only constrain our creative activities. Broken logic is the way we fly…unless you are a computer.

      Suppose we are free to be incorrect, or to understand that we don’t really know anything, it might follow that we are unlikely to convince anyone of anything unless they were already heading there in the first place. If this is the case we are totally free to experience thinking and writing as a wondrous journey into who/what we are and when we make it public, those that get it will get it, and those that don’t will have looks on their faces that are priceless!

      Sorry for the long response, I got a bit excited.

      Liked by 2 people

      • sojourner says:

        No need to apologize, Robyn. I’m glad I made someone happy today!

        I was concerned that my response made no sense, and it probably doesn’t, logically ;-), to most. But it registered with you, and that’s all that counts in this case.

        I agree completely. One major thing writing has taught me is that I am not always logical, and thus the reason that I must go back and edit and edit again. So how can I be completely logical in a discussion or argument, when I haven’t had the chance to edit and the adrenaline is flowing? I cannot!

        My mind runs almost constantly, and so most of the time I can see clearly that I am illogical in many instances, but in this case, of course, only I know it. Only I realize what a dummy I am!!

        Yes, it is those who are on the same wavelength, at the moment, who understand us in these situations, while the others are either confused, angry, or about to say, “Could you please explain what you mean?”

        And I hate it, when they ask that, ’cause most of the time I don’t even know;-)

        You are brilliant and a joy, Robyn!

        Liked by 1 person

      • jamborobyn says:

        The Larson solution… 😉
        Larson - Omar

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Plaintively, yet powerfully, said. I remember many times when I felt like that, when it was all a challenge, both internally and externally. Now, that I am in my late 80s, I still am curious about the mysteries and fearful of the threats, but I am learning to simplify, simplify,simplify and to trust in the spiritual power.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sojourner says:

    Love the Larson solution! Too funny!

    That’s it!

    Liked by 1 person

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