The 21st Century Cave Man

There’s a tiny cave behind
All those igneous rocks
Surrounding oneself with
Protective square blocks

Peer past the cliff-face
Into the chasm rent with pain
At the edge of this vision
Sediment flows with rain

Enclosed in illusions
Hard surface all around
Layer upon layer
Particles form on the ground

When this was your choice
To be firmer than air
Do you retreat to your pedestal
Or your safe little lair?

Dusk calls to the spirit
Miles and eons below
Dawn will be here in a minute
We contract, then we grow

I find no true home enclosed
By the igneous or sedimentary
You’ve got rocks as your battlements
So purposefully rudimentary

Yet the metamorphic forces
Yield solid rock at my core
My light floats to the outside
In bright space do I restore

These rocks hold the memory
Recording what’s transpiring
– Your haven that will cave in
And suffocate what is inspiring

– My preservation pillar
Of what’s constant, true and timeless
– Man only needs a cave when
The rest of him is spineless

Go home to your pedestal
Go home to your fortress
There’s no line you won’t cross
For the souls you would possess

Yes, build up your fantasies
About goodness and hate
Try and mask your soft core
While you stride and berate

The bereft are mostly free
Pride in all colours and races
While you perpetuate still darkness
With the lightest of all faces

Though little might survive
When nothing’s real inside
Blast those walls to kingdom come
On this you could decide

I know that you’re stuck
What you need is space
Climb past the debris
Walk into your grace
*

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My fear is like a terrorist

Let your fear politely inform your actions rather than completely hijacking them. RM

Most useful conclusion for me to arrive at in terms of freedom and authenticity could be that every emotion is valid at the time it arises, but is not and cannot be the totality of the experience. There are other aspects of the truth to be considered with perhaps the same weight and importance as the internal emotional response.

So when I find myself with a strong (or weak) emotional response to my circumstances, I politely say to myself, “Thanks very much for that useful feedback, now, what other information can I observe that might also inform my decisions?”

Sometimes, I am racing around expressing and responding to the emotion before this rationale appears. But it is so effective at quelling or reducing the “overwhelmingness” of an intense emotional response, that I frequently end up turning the experience into an exercise. Let’s give it a title: “1000 ways for returning to peace and making decisions from that space.”

I am naturally very curious, so redirecting my attention to an investigation works 99% of the time and I often take the precise action required to bring about a win/win or some other type of peaceful resolution. The other 1% of the time… be afraid, be very afraid if you were the person who did the thing that triggered the emotional response. You’re about to find out exactly how I feel about it and I’ve got 47 years of barely expressed rage to draw energy from.

Yeah, some people are messing with me and one of them will probably have a bad day soon, courtesy of yours truly.  Nothing to worry about though, it’s actually kind of interesting. Still… I will be glad to see the back of it.

😉

Let me out!

Take a hammer and smash this thing
Throw a wrench in the bloody fire
Take a nail and pierce my left eye
Sear my heart with red-hot iron
Write your name in my blood if you must
But bring your bargaining chips to the wake

Fate and destiny turn to slush
Through the grate of reality
I will drag volition homewards
Kicking and screaming in fear
I’m more than more than what you’ve made of me
Or you wouldn’t have bothered

The plight of the dragon

There exists form
Reversion
Pulse-bound cyclical stasis
Constantly forgetting
To exhale the flux
From molten drops of earth
Swallowed whole
Inhaled one-by-one
Choking the ilium
With ashen dread
Scorching the oesophagus
Until the voice is rasped
Welding the heart
To the roof of the mouth
Searing the flesh from
Ancient skeletons.

Fire-breathing
Cauterises all wounds
– including love.

Not so heavenly

Enchanted by a wonderful sonata
Woven beneath my earthly blight
I daren’t go too much farther
Abroad upon this moonlit night

If through a thicket I should perhaps wander
Distraught, distracted, despairing
How breaks the impasse? Surrender
In fear that goes beyond caring

Or would love imbue my faint heart with freedom
That glows from within, no surcease?
Til resistance heralds wisdom
New dawn, another round or caprice?

Polished, burnished, fired and scrubbed, healed and pared
Shed the cowl it’s transparent now
Where am I going? I never cared
For the what or the why, but how

Enchanted by a wonderful sonata
The dance held me from going too much farther
Rhythm moves the light, the symphony of me
Coalescing stardust isn’t heavenly.

Remember

So many things on my mind I need to write them down
The fear that I might forget is sometimes overwhelming

Must remember
Don’t forget
What if?

Don’t be afraid
It will be okay
It always works out
Or does it?

The emotion
The feelings
Me.
All I remember is me

The way I was and the places I’ve been
The places I don’t want to return to

Do details matter
To you
To me?

I am scared
Of not remembering
Like once before
When I was smaller
and life was pain
and love
and terror
and sadness

And now I remember the beauty
But not then

I fought hard for the beauty.

Call your fears and they will come to you