On love

I used to idolise people
From afar.
Fallible, flawed, futile
Fumbling in the dark one day,
Flying at rainbows the next.
Measuring the dimensions of my worth
By the extent of my forgiveness.

Catching a whiff of the words we choose
Through echo memories
I hear you –
Same same but different
Now I love with everything I have.

Still yet to fathom personal love.
Arms stretched wide
Around our entire existence,
Past the finish line,
Willing to survival,
Willing to peace,
Manifests as no time for you and me.

But I felt so alone
When everyone was framed in gold
And I was the frightful straw doll,
Bent and damp with despair,
Freedom and fairness
Frustratingly out of grasp.

I want to love you alone
But I’m scared you’ll be knocked flat.

*

My inspiration:
Here’s a truly excellent piece of writing — Why We Love — on a topic I’m not usually the least bit interested in. Still… it worked it’s magic.

 

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Stats Challenge Results

Yes, I know… no-one took the challenge. I was laughing when I wrote yesterday’s post because the minute I posted it I was absolutely sure it would make it onto my list of least popular posts of all time.  Thus far the reality is matching the prediction, LOL!

Anyway, the most interesting thing I discovered is that 3 of my all-time personal favorite poems are amongst the least popular posts of all time.

I’m going to share them again now because I’m aiming for the bottom – 0 likes, 1 view – would be nice, or even better, 1 like, 0 views.  This is probably just as difficult to achieve were my goal to be Freshly Pressed (heaven forbid but it seems to be the goal of a lot of bloggers).  Another reason for resharing posts that have absolutely failed, is that I’m exploring a suspicion I have about whether the majority of readers even read this far into the post before they have moved on.  No judgement on readers in that statement, if I’m boring, I’m boring. Voting with one’s feet is fantastically useful feedback!

Enough with the waffle… here’s the stuff you hated – followed by links to the stuff you loved.  Some people eat waffles for breakfast but I’m kind of indifferent to them.

HATED

(no particular order, a bottom-dwelling cluster—-)

Weather Time

God bless those who are willing to hear your cry
Oh! Whipping wind lift those hats and dresses high
Before this dawn you tapped rain on my window
Beckoning you said “It’s time to start this show”

I couldn’t read the news the sun was too bright
You threw on a nebula gown of delight
That strobed through the moments and whispered a song
“You can stay way out there, but don’t stay too long”

Writing in the wind or singing in the rain
Kicking up your heels or busking on the train
No matter the plan we will tear it to shreds
Like kids who should sleep but are bouncing on beds

Mesmerise this morning of weather-at-play
Strategise how time could be best spent this day
Then watch as we spin the whole world on its head
Fling time out the door, give us weather instead.

*

I remember when I was black

The colour was orange and rich tones of earth
Open plains and a lonely tree
A small village hut made of natural stuff.
The fireplace smoked
We made semolina in a big iron pot
Melodious songs of womanhood we sang
and danced and ran free.
We walked with grace and rhythm
Strong-bodied, curve-backed people of my kind
Where are you now?

The sky is clear, the weather warm
I am a solitary seven-year-old against this landscape
With smiling eyes in a mischievous face.
Tiny circles of African hair press close to my scalp.
My pink-soled, chocolate-coated body is wrapped in metres of burnt orange
And I move more freely than in suburban clothes.
Pride and playfulness affect my stance
And though I am a child alone, I am not fearful
For this is where I am myself
Home.

*

Battle Practice

Leave your prejudices at the door
For they’ll only weigh you down my friend
Repartee, riposte, reproach, rapport
Examine the value of what you defend

Behold! a task the ego can master
Duck, weave, dance all about the place
Holding the centre I dance so much faster
I play out the drama that lends this life grace

Momentum can trip or tip or flip
I stand on the same side, we both fall
So I sent it back in a neat little pack
A skew with a prayer and padding for the wall

*

LOVED

(comparatively speaking – most popular first)

 

So there you have it. A lesson that I am likely to forget far more often than I am likely to remember. What I like has nothing to do with what readers enjoy.

All hail survivorship bias!

Seeds in the dung

There’s always more sacrifices
Coming down the pipe
Discarded lives and trusts
It all falls somewhere
Cascading, descending
Through the monocular lens of the history of people
Observed, absorbed
By those who’d never survive such a thing

In the cauldron of despair
We learn to breathe muck
We persist
Fortitude breeds what reality teaches
And we are cracked open by our quest
For that invisible tunnel
With the light of truth at the end
Or the fearless vastness of simple freedom

From the sacks of false emancipation
Lumbered around on quivering backs
Seeds drop into the dung
One day, relinquishing the struggle
For a retreat to past conditions
The next, bursting through the earth
On urgent safari to the sun
Unbelievably, inevitably
Startling those who’d never survive such a thing

Yesterday
What was one man’s garbage
Now wields the power of transformation
Yesterday
What was so much flotsam and freely expendable
Today has one word.
Peace.

Let me out!

Take a hammer and smash this thing
Throw a wrench in the bloody fire
Take a nail and pierce my left eye
Sear my heart with red-hot iron
Write your name in my blood if you must
But bring your bargaining chips to the wake

Fate and destiny turn to slush
Through the grate of reality
I will drag volition homewards
Kicking and screaming in fear
I’m more than more than what you’ve made of me
Or you wouldn’t have bothered

The Crystal City

Scaling peaks, I sometimes fall
     sliding sands slow the climb
Fumbling feet, legs a-quiver
     choking dust, left and right
Spirits, bodies, disappear
     into chasms rent through time.

Crawling forth now, hands and knees
     the summit fills my sight
Striking through the mists and trees
     gold, cerise, rose and lime!
Haul this carcass o’er the crest
     and into bright sunlight.

Standing on that mountain top
     heaving chest, clothed in grime
Abandoning past intent
     alarmed at this new plight
Rainbow mountains everywhere
     surrounding fields of thyme!

And far off in the distance, the crystal city’s spires
Glint and tease and beckon, a wind chime of desires.

For seven years I journeyed
     through vales of clementine
Trekking alps of breathing hell
     exhaustion by my side
Pray! this soul would live to reach
     that city so divine.

Our sun had reached it’s zenith
     so hope picked up a ride
Alas! laid out before me
     tho’ city’s heights doth shine
A river flows, so deep and pure
     to bar my path inside.

Amber-walled with gates of quartz
     no vision could refine
Beneath the streams, the jaws of
     alligators yawn wide
Oh! onyx kerbs, citrine streets
     these eyes brim full with brine.

Sparkling eyes like peridot, behind you see the fires
Smiles, it seems, with reptile minds, this gut to fear inspires

Battling through the centuries
     losing all the while
Bleeding hearts and artists know
      they aren’t the battling type
But oh! that city beckons
     It’s light just makes me 🙂

Could I find a way across?
     my theories are cold tripe
Eventually I’d learn ways
     to keep them quite docile
‘Gator guards are living too
     I won’t believe the hype

I take a stick, throw it far
     “These methods I revile!
I’m worn, I’m weak, can hardly speak
     Our history I wipe.”
She’s ending feuds despite her will
     “Let’s take a different style”

I can’t speak of everything compassion’s gift requires
Smiling back at alligators, brought my heart’s desires.